Laughing Stock

Ok, now that we have sunk to the depths of being the laughing stock of world cricket, we should be able to move on. Six weeks down under and we haven't won a single match. That's bad...really bad.

The only way is up! It must be...please....

Oh Dear...

Well, speechless (and that's unusual!), utterly speechless.

I couldn't have been more wrong about the result.

Useless fools.

Old Boy Network

Hope for all us old men yet! There was no way that Paul Nixon was flying out to Oz without having a game and he's got one. At 36 Nixon is the oldest debutant for nearly 20 years. Sign of the times? Or clutching at straws?

In his defence I rate Nixon. Having seen him a few times take the game away from opposition with his fearless keeping and hard-hitting batting I'm glad he's in the side.

Prediction? England to win by 4 wickets!

Welcome Back

Welcome back to MV. Lot of work to do lad so best get started. Win the Twenty20 on Tuesday and you will be forgiven for getting injured in the first place!

Boy, have we missed this guy? Just a little. I must confess to feeling sorry for Freddie; he will never get another chance again to lead the side and will go down in history as the worst captain for 80 years. Not sure if his morale is going to be good after he told everyone he wanted to continue as captain.

Interesting to see Boycott saying that we should have separate coaches for Test & ODI sides. He may have a point there. If there is to be changes, however, Boycott will be the last person that the ECB consult! And as to asking Warne to help us....forget it. It's time for some home-grown input into the team.

Serious Stats

Matches:

Australia 5
England 0

Wickets:

Aus 96 out of 100
Eng 59 out of 100

Runs:

Aus 3,114
Eng 2,530

Ok....here's the rub. This says it all.

Number of runs scored for each wicket lost:

Aus 52.77
Eng 26.35

Which means that Australia were twice as good as us.

Ashes are to be Scattered

Boy, that's gonna hurt in the morning. How do you come back from that? Hat's off to the Aussies for coming back so strong and hard.

So Freddie & the Dreamers will go down in history as being the worst Test side in the history of the game. The question that Shane Warne asked Paul Collingwood (who was sledging him) whilst smashing the England attack all round the ground sums it all up: "So, you got an OBE? Was that for scoring 7 runs at the Oval?"

And KP's new nickname, Figjam, says it all. Figjam is an acronym, by the way, which stands for "Fuck I'm Good...Just Ask Me!"

And a slanging match seems to be what England resorted to, but even there the Aussies have out done us totally.

No point licking wounds. Move on. Accept that we were poorly prepared, played poorly & went there looking for a drawn series. Cowards. And we still have the ODI Series to get further beaten to a more mushy pulp. What's the betting Freddie comes home in the next couple of days....they can't let him captain the ODI side as well. One thing is certain: no hero's welcome for Freddie.

5-0

Well team, just a few points I'd like to raise. On the whole that went quite well but we didn't really take enough wickets or score enough runs. Apart from that I thought we did well. There are a lot of positives we can take out of this like, er...erm...well actually there is none....

5th Test - Day 3

Lot of work to do. That said, Harmy was bowling well and I suspect and Anderson will get the ball to swing. Just need to get Hussey and Symons out soon. Don't let them settle. Attack them hard; men round the bat, stop them driving.

If we can prevent them getting any sort of lead it will be fine...if not, well 5-0 isn't really that bad...is it?

5th Test - Day 2

234 for 4. Not bad. I have to say that Freddie looked good. Kiss of Death from me. He'll be out in a mo. But the thing I noticed opposed the view of the Sky commentators who all said he was moving his feet well. I thought he didn't but was seeing the ball well, more like he used to. He played more like Tressy; Stand & Deliver. I suspect he is carrying an injury. We shall see....

5th Test...all bets off

What do you reckon? Loads of talk. The Aussies are comfortable enough to have three of their major players retire. Job done. I get the feeling that they know that because of the age thing they are about to decline. It happened to the West Indies when they were on top of the world. Of course, if they know this, winning back the Ashes will be their swansong.

So, all bets off. So much hype that it's bound to be a draw. I'd like to see England stand and fight. If they do fight they will win. No doubt about it. Australia are full of heroes but beneath the surface England have real talent. Time to step up to the plate.