How England can break their losing streak

Ask any gambler about a run of bad luck and their will provide you with a whole host of reasons for it. Ask them what they do to change their luck and not many have a sensible answer.

Now, I am not saying that England are having a run of bad luck. They're not. Quite simply they are under-performing. However, the reason why I start with a gambling analogy is this:

From the very beginning of this tour the Selectors have gambled. They gambled on Freddie and lost (in respect of winning matches - the gamble on his fitness has paid off to some degree); they gambled on Trescothick and lost; they gambled on Giles and lost. In fact, when you look at wickets taken and run scored over the whole tour they placed very few safe bets.

So, how do they turn it round? Well, in OZ they can't. They have players that are good but the squad lacks depth. What they can do is use this as an opportunity to expose some of the under-used players to tough cricket in an attempt to ready themselves for the World Cup. They is now no point in trying to compete with Australia. Use the remaining games as practice matches.

Then go home and regroup. The 15 men that they take to the West Indies MUST be fit and up to the task. There is no point in taking them if they do not fulfil both criteria. Here's the 30 men picked so far:

England 30-man ICC Cricket World Cup squad:

1. James Anderson (Lancashire)2. Ian Bell (Warwickshire)3. Ravi Bopara (Essex)4. Stuart Broad (Leicestershire)5. Glen Chapple (Lancashire)6. Rikki Clarke (Surrey)7. Paul Collingwood (Durham)8. Alastair Cook (Essex)9. Jamie Dalrymple (Middlesex)10. Andrew Flintoff (Lancashire)11. Ashley Giles (Warwickshire)12. Matthew Hoggard (Yorkshire)13. Ed Joyce (Middlesex)14. Amjad Khan (Kent)15. Jon Lewis (Gloucestershire)16. Mal Loye (Lancashire)17. Sajid Mahmood (Lancashire)18. Paul Nixon (Leicestershire)19. Graham Onions (Durham)20. Monty Panesar (Northamtonshire)21. Kevin Pietersen (Hampshire)22. Liam Plunkett (Durham)23. Matt Prior (Sussex)24. Chris Read (Nottinghamshire)25. Owais Shah (Middlesex)26. Vikram Solanki (Worcestershire)27. Andrew Strauss (Middlesex)28. Chris Tremlett (Hampshire)29. Michael Vaughan (Yorkshire)30. Michael Yardy (Sussex)

Half will fall soon. Here's my selection:

Anderson
Bell
Broad
Collingwood
Cook
Darylmple
Flintoff
Hoggard
Loye
Panesar
Pietersen
Read
Solanki
Strauss
Vaughan

Enough is Enough

That's it. I'm am going to sell up today and move to Oz...at least they know how to play cricket there.

Australia v England Tri-Series ODI Preview

Rollercoaster time again. Looks like we won't and Anderson and Lewis. That might be a good thing. Especially when we have others in the squad looking to make a mark. Perfect opportunity!

But the bowling will look bare without those two. It's a shame Stuart Broad isn't with them. Tremlett will get a game I guess and will need to show what he is capable of. Time to shake off butterflies and hit the deck hard!

England v New Zealand

Dismal state of affairs. It was obvious that NZ were out of form with the bat and yet we still threw it away. I can't believe it!

Dutifully, I rose at 3am to watch the lads and when we had them 67 for 5 I nodded off thinking that we'd be fine. What went wrong? Lack of a killer instinct I guess. And then even getting them out for 210 we should have strolled it. At least Joyce showed his mettle for once. Out to a very good catch too.

So where do we go from here? Fortunately, we can only improve. It is alright for Freddie to say they tried their best but if we intend to compete in the Word Cup then we must improve. And for heaven's sake somebody please put a sock in Paul Nixon's mouth. It's bad enough having to listen to Hussain banging on about how we should play without having to hear Nixon trying to encourage the lads. I mean, every now and then would be fine but every bloody ball!

Friday then...The Aussies again. Trouble ahead once more...who would you drop?

Numpties v New Zealand

Unbelievable...simply unbelievable. What is it with these guys? Once again they failed to go in for the kill and lost the match...

31 for 3

Good Grief...have we learnt nothing? What has happened to Ian Bell and Strauss for that matter? Loye you expect to get out because he plays strokes...but the other two should know better.

England v New Zealand - Tuesday

210 all out is well below par on this pitch but a whole lot more than we should have allowed NZ to score. At one point we had them at 67-5 and some how we let it slip. That said though Flintoff bowled really well to pick up 4 for 21 from 10 overs. Lewis did well too as did Anderson. The fielding was pretty good but we really should have got shot of Oram early on.

And now we are 30 for 2 with Ed Joyce at the crease...so he's good for 5!

Bob's the Man?

Bob Woolmer is being tipped as DF's replacement. Good thing. But I would love to hear your views...

England v New Zealand - The Next ODI

Right, rumour has it that England will give Bopara a chance and recall Monty... so that means Ed Joyce is out and, I guess, Chris Tremlett... we shall see.

Adelaide is a good spinner's pitch so Monty should work and I would like to see what Bopara is capable of at this level.

We must win this one. We must! If we are to take the game to the Aussie team we must win this. And we can...More later

Australia v New Zealand Tri-Series ODI

Ok...here's the table. Not looking that good for the Kiwis and doesn't reflect how close they got to the Aussies in the last match. I think that the Baggy Greens are starting to look a little tied as it goes. Just need England or NZ to go in for the kill. The last two matches Oz have played have shown some weaknesses....it's time to exploit those weaknesses.

Gilchrest...playing in a very cavalier style at the moment. That will be his own undoing. Getting Symons out early is vital. Starve Hussey of the strike...he can't stand being at the other end. RP will be back for Tuesday game against England and we need to be ready...

Australia V England

Ok...better. That's the first time I have seen England actually take the game to the Baggy Greens. I know we didn't win but we made them work for it.

Full assesment later...

The Turning Worm...

4 Down...oh! Ye Gods...could it be?

Australia v England Tri-Series ODI

155 All Out. Not enough on a flat track...but, there's 2 quick wickets just gone down...is there a spark of life in the old banger yet?

Pleased that Loye scored some runs. England look tired though. Ed Joyce has failed again, Collingwood was determined to get out early as was Bell. Only JD & Freddie looked like they wanted to score some runs.

It needs a fantastic fielding effort now....very fantastic.

Here we go again...

Ok....in a few more hours David will take on Goliath once more. Freddie has his sling shot ready and the chances are that Mal Loye will get the nod. With no Ponting (he's having a rest, bless him) Gilchrest will be running the show. McGrath's back too. Should be interesting...Freddie must be a sucker for punishment!

There May Be Trouble Ahead...

Here's Freddie!

Ok....what do you think? Has he got it? Can he win a game as skipper? Not sure this is the right game to win. It would be nice...but the cynic in me thinks that Virgil has dived out in order to save his stats! Can't be so, can it?

Seriously, this match coming is a must-win. We won't win but we must compete. If we don't compete then we (and the Kiwi's) must simply get on the plane and go home.

He was good the other day though. Batted really well. Looked strong and stress-free. If anyone was the new IT Botham it's this man; brilliant with ball and bat but no good as a skipper! Sorry Freddie...but you're just not a captain...a fantastic cricketer but not a skipper.

England v New Zealand

So England win their 1st match in nearly 32 years. It seems that it's been that long doesn't it? Only just won though. Bit of a scrappy performance really. Good to see Freddie score some runs but the top order need to make sure that one man doesn't have to see us home. Anderson managed to take some wickets...which was nice...oh, and Virgil picks up another injury!

New Zealand won the toss and choose to bat on a flat, slow pitch that had already been played on earlier in the week. This really should have been an advantage to the Blackcaps...but our bowling was pretty good in places and we took wickets regularly.

New Zealand only managed 205 for 9 (remember the Aussies scored 289 on the same track this week!). England's batting worries me because, yet again, we have players getting a start and then failed to go on. If you want to win an ODI at least one player needs to score 100. Only Bell and Freddie managed to perform well. I think the latter has finally remember that he is a batsman and is enjoying not being upstaged by Figjam.

Another nail biter at the end. Should really have got home with 5 overs to spare instead of leaving it to the final over. That's the fault of the top order not keep up the run rate and leaving the work for others.

That all said, good to be back to winning ways. Pat on the back to Freddie.

Played Two, Won too!

England fans must look at this a good thing. New Zealand are a decent ODI side and yet, they too have been on the wrong end of a typical Aussie thrashing. 105 runs! That's going to hurt. And New Zealand even took a hatrick in the final over.

Is there a team in the world that can compete with the Baggy Greens? I'm not sure there is. Cold comfort it might be for England but this result does put England's defeat into some sort of context. At least England lost by fewer runs and made it through all 50 overs with men still standing. We didn't score enough runs...about 30 or 40 light I reckon.

Australia are rampant, confident and only several major injuries will dent their ability to run through unbeaten in this ODI series and the forthcoming World Cup.

And so, on Tuesday NZ take on England at the same ground. Both sides will be eager to win easily. Whatever the result, one thing is certain; Australia can beat them both.

Ulysses Joyce

Here he is...the man from across the sea. He is here as a replacement for Figjam...but has he got what it takes to fill the boots of KP or is he just on a journey that leads to nowhere?

Here's the stats:

Although listed as an 'A List' player since 1998, Ed Joyce has only played 94 '1st Class' matches . His figures are good though. 94 matches, 158 innings, 6815 runs at an average of 47.32 which includes 17 centuries and 37 half-centuries. Not bad. Oh, and he took 79 catches in that lot too! So... how does he really compare to Figjam?

1st Class: 104 matches, 172 innings, 8106 runs at 51.30 (27 centuries & 34 half-centuries) and 94 catches. So he has a yard or two on Joyce.

So can Ed compete...technically? Yes. But in terms of ego, confidence and sheer bloody-mindedness? Probably not. But what choice do we have? The only real worry about Joyce is that he seems to spend a lot of time wandering around getting injured. Still, it beats wandering around Dublin I guess.

30 Good Men Wanted....No Timewasters

Here's the list:

Batsmen:
Ian Bell (Warks) Ok. Got to take him. Need to look at the top order.
Ravi Bopara (Essex) KP's replacement. Lot of talent but lacks experience. Here's his chance.
Alastair Cook (Essex) Good Choice. Needs to step up his S/R in ODIs.
Ed Joyce (Middx) Still waiting this guy to shine.
Mal Loye (Lancs) Can't doubt his ability but we've seen him before.
Kevin Pietersen (Hants) Spare rib anyone? Simply the most exciting bat in the world
Owais Shah (Middx) Another one I'm waiting to see perform at this level.
Vikram Solanki (Worcs) I like this guy. Gutsy.
Andrew Strauss (Middx) Time to step up to the plate matey.
Michael Vaughan (Yorks) St Virgil of Vaughan. Top drawer.

All-rounders:
Rikki Clarke (Surrey) Fair enough.
Paul Collingwood (Durham) Yes
Jamie Dalrymple (Middx) Maybe
Andrew Flintoff (Lancs) Yes
Matthew Hoggard (Yorks) Yes
Jon Lewis (Glos) No
Michael Yardy (Sussex) Maybe

Wicket-keepers:
Paul Nixon (Leics) No
Matt Prior (Sussex) Maybe
Chris Read (Notts) Yes

Bowlers:
James Anderson (Lancs) Wake up call.
Stuart Broad (Leics) He's the one.
Glen Chapple (Lancs) Maybe.
Ashley Giles (Warks) Hope he brings his zimmerframe.
Amjad Khan (Kent) Good choice
Sajid Mahmood (Lancs) We should perservere with this guy. Natural talent.
Graham Onions (Durham) Good County man....
Monty Panesar (Northants) Of Course.
Liam Plunkett (Durham) He is getting a nickname - Sicknote.
Chris Tremlett (Hants) This could work.

Here's my team selection for the opener against New Zealand on 16th March.

1. Strauss
2. Vaughan
3. Pietersen
4. Bell
5. Flintoff
6. Read
7. Collingwood
8. Bopara
9. Broad
10. Panesar
11. Hoggard

8 Batsmen, 1 Wicketkeeper & 6 Bowlers....team and a half!

1st ODI - Review

Bad day at the office. That said we are having a lot of bad days. What went wrong? Simple really; 30 or 40 runs short and then we bowled like a 'Pie 'n' a Pint Sunday League Side'.

Yes, it was that bad. Although, our middle order presented themselves fairly well. Our bowlers, however, did not.

And now with KP out for 6 weeks we are exposed. He is the only bat that has taken the game to the Aussies. Who will replace him? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd like to see Mark Ramprakash! He is about as old as Nixon! But we are struggling at the top. As Nasser said this morning: our top three bats are 'touch' players. One of them needs to be a bully like KP or Graham Hick. Hopefully they will pick a bully to bat at 2. Ed Joyce isn't good enough. Strauss and MV never get into that groove. We need a Gilchrest or a Hayden to make things happen.

Losing by 8 wickets today was bad...very bad. Our fielding was terrible...(perhaps they did have a pie and a pint at tea?). Lewis must go....good at county level but not good enough for ODIs! Get shot now. I have Stuart Broad's mobile number if Graveney needs it. He's the one. Lewis is worse in the field than Monty!

Here's the verdict:

1. Strauss: 12 runs. Not good enough. Must try harder: 4/10

2. Vaughan: 26 runs. Good to see to see him scoring runs again. Class bat this one. Real captain too. Up there with Mike Brierley. His side are letting him down badly. I guess he says to a bowler: " Bowl such and such a length" and the bowler fails. Not Virgil's fault. He can only work with the tools he's got. However, a few years ago he was a different bat; for Yorkshire this guy batted well and had that Yorks' cricket spirit that the likes of Hutton & Trueman had. Anyway, welcome back Virgil (see we have nicknames too!): 8/10 for effort!

3. Ian Bell: 15 runs.Ok. This one is good...as a test bat. Excellent average (around 42) but he is not a one day player. His talent is fantastic and he will (one day) end up in my top ten bats along with guys like Steve Waugh, Ramps, Compton & Lara. He has the same style and timing. Good in the field too; Randall & Rhodes had the same skills. Poor performance with the bat: 5/10

4. Pietersen: 82 runs; 1 broken rib. That ball was brutal. It didn't look that bad live but it was really brutal. KP is a tough guy who gets hit every now and then (too good a bat to get hit as often as Nasser did!) and when it happens he doesn't show the pain. Which is right; show no fear. But that ball hurt. 4-6 weeks break. So who would you call? Loye? Butcher? Ackerman? Knight? Put the phone down. I've already called Ramps and he is ready! He is the only class player in England that could come anywhere near to KP. KP's 82 earns him a pat on the back: 8/10

5. Collingwood: 43 runs. He has great stats as a ODI player but looks like a fish out of water against the Aussies. He was scrappy today. Skin of teeth innings again. Should bat at 7. Should learn how to play his own game: 5/10

6. Flintoff: 47 Not Out. Looked alright today. Slow starter...needs about 5 overs to get his eye in but once he does he is great. I think he is finding it hard to live in KP's shadow (got a chance to shine now!) and should remember that he was always a better bat than a bowler. A few nice shots over Mid On today: 7/10

7. Nixon: 0 runs. Tosser. Well that was worth the airfare then. If you can call him up then call up Ramps too. Nixon is great at county level but he has no place here: 2/10

8. Dalrymple: 2 runs. 1 wicket. Not convinced about this tweaker yet. In the side as a Giles replacement but doesn't pull it off. Put him on the plane: 3/10

9. Lewis: 9 runs. Send him home. Might get a discount for 3 tickets. Not good enough: 1/10

10. Panesar: 0 Not Out. 1 wicket. Simply one of the best that we have. Will take more wickets than any other English spinner at all levels because he believes in himself. Pick of the bowlers today and a much better fielder than that idiot Lewis: 7/10

11. Anderson: DNB. Never really pulled it off has he? Another tosser. I wonder if we could get 4 tickets back to Blighty for the price of 3? Send him home and call up Stuart Broad...at least he has some guts and determination about him. Anderson - it's over, let go, go home. Poor: 2/10

So that concludes today's post mortem. Tune in next week for another typical England day at the wicket.

Laughing Stock

Ok, now that we have sunk to the depths of being the laughing stock of world cricket, we should be able to move on. Six weeks down under and we haven't won a single match. That's bad...really bad.

The only way is up! It must be...please....

Oh Dear...

Well, speechless (and that's unusual!), utterly speechless.

I couldn't have been more wrong about the result.

Useless fools.

Old Boy Network

Hope for all us old men yet! There was no way that Paul Nixon was flying out to Oz without having a game and he's got one. At 36 Nixon is the oldest debutant for nearly 20 years. Sign of the times? Or clutching at straws?

In his defence I rate Nixon. Having seen him a few times take the game away from opposition with his fearless keeping and hard-hitting batting I'm glad he's in the side.

Prediction? England to win by 4 wickets!

Welcome Back

Welcome back to MV. Lot of work to do lad so best get started. Win the Twenty20 on Tuesday and you will be forgiven for getting injured in the first place!

Boy, have we missed this guy? Just a little. I must confess to feeling sorry for Freddie; he will never get another chance again to lead the side and will go down in history as the worst captain for 80 years. Not sure if his morale is going to be good after he told everyone he wanted to continue as captain.

Interesting to see Boycott saying that we should have separate coaches for Test & ODI sides. He may have a point there. If there is to be changes, however, Boycott will be the last person that the ECB consult! And as to asking Warne to help us....forget it. It's time for some home-grown input into the team.

Serious Stats

Matches:

Australia 5
England 0

Wickets:

Aus 96 out of 100
Eng 59 out of 100

Runs:

Aus 3,114
Eng 2,530

Ok....here's the rub. This says it all.

Number of runs scored for each wicket lost:

Aus 52.77
Eng 26.35

Which means that Australia were twice as good as us.

Ashes are to be Scattered

Boy, that's gonna hurt in the morning. How do you come back from that? Hat's off to the Aussies for coming back so strong and hard.

So Freddie & the Dreamers will go down in history as being the worst Test side in the history of the game. The question that Shane Warne asked Paul Collingwood (who was sledging him) whilst smashing the England attack all round the ground sums it all up: "So, you got an OBE? Was that for scoring 7 runs at the Oval?"

And KP's new nickname, Figjam, says it all. Figjam is an acronym, by the way, which stands for "Fuck I'm Good...Just Ask Me!"

And a slanging match seems to be what England resorted to, but even there the Aussies have out done us totally.

No point licking wounds. Move on. Accept that we were poorly prepared, played poorly & went there looking for a drawn series. Cowards. And we still have the ODI Series to get further beaten to a more mushy pulp. What's the betting Freddie comes home in the next couple of days....they can't let him captain the ODI side as well. One thing is certain: no hero's welcome for Freddie.

5-0

Well team, just a few points I'd like to raise. On the whole that went quite well but we didn't really take enough wickets or score enough runs. Apart from that I thought we did well. There are a lot of positives we can take out of this like, er...erm...well actually there is none....

5th Test - Day 3

Lot of work to do. That said, Harmy was bowling well and I suspect and Anderson will get the ball to swing. Just need to get Hussey and Symons out soon. Don't let them settle. Attack them hard; men round the bat, stop them driving.

If we can prevent them getting any sort of lead it will be fine...if not, well 5-0 isn't really that bad...is it?

5th Test - Day 2

234 for 4. Not bad. I have to say that Freddie looked good. Kiss of Death from me. He'll be out in a mo. But the thing I noticed opposed the view of the Sky commentators who all said he was moving his feet well. I thought he didn't but was seeing the ball well, more like he used to. He played more like Tressy; Stand & Deliver. I suspect he is carrying an injury. We shall see....

5th Test...all bets off

What do you reckon? Loads of talk. The Aussies are comfortable enough to have three of their major players retire. Job done. I get the feeling that they know that because of the age thing they are about to decline. It happened to the West Indies when they were on top of the world. Of course, if they know this, winning back the Ashes will be their swansong.

So, all bets off. So much hype that it's bound to be a draw. I'd like to see England stand and fight. If they do fight they will win. No doubt about it. Australia are full of heroes but beneath the surface England have real talent. Time to step up to the plate.