1st ODI - Review

Bad day at the office. That said we are having a lot of bad days. What went wrong? Simple really; 30 or 40 runs short and then we bowled like a 'Pie 'n' a Pint Sunday League Side'.

Yes, it was that bad. Although, our middle order presented themselves fairly well. Our bowlers, however, did not.

And now with KP out for 6 weeks we are exposed. He is the only bat that has taken the game to the Aussies. Who will replace him? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd like to see Mark Ramprakash! He is about as old as Nixon! But we are struggling at the top. As Nasser said this morning: our top three bats are 'touch' players. One of them needs to be a bully like KP or Graham Hick. Hopefully they will pick a bully to bat at 2. Ed Joyce isn't good enough. Strauss and MV never get into that groove. We need a Gilchrest or a Hayden to make things happen.

Losing by 8 wickets today was bad...very bad. Our fielding was terrible...(perhaps they did have a pie and a pint at tea?). Lewis must go....good at county level but not good enough for ODIs! Get shot now. I have Stuart Broad's mobile number if Graveney needs it. He's the one. Lewis is worse in the field than Monty!

Here's the verdict:

1. Strauss: 12 runs. Not good enough. Must try harder: 4/10

2. Vaughan: 26 runs. Good to see to see him scoring runs again. Class bat this one. Real captain too. Up there with Mike Brierley. His side are letting him down badly. I guess he says to a bowler: " Bowl such and such a length" and the bowler fails. Not Virgil's fault. He can only work with the tools he's got. However, a few years ago he was a different bat; for Yorkshire this guy batted well and had that Yorks' cricket spirit that the likes of Hutton & Trueman had. Anyway, welcome back Virgil (see we have nicknames too!): 8/10 for effort!

3. Ian Bell: 15 runs.Ok. This one is good...as a test bat. Excellent average (around 42) but he is not a one day player. His talent is fantastic and he will (one day) end up in my top ten bats along with guys like Steve Waugh, Ramps, Compton & Lara. He has the same style and timing. Good in the field too; Randall & Rhodes had the same skills. Poor performance with the bat: 5/10

4. Pietersen: 82 runs; 1 broken rib. That ball was brutal. It didn't look that bad live but it was really brutal. KP is a tough guy who gets hit every now and then (too good a bat to get hit as often as Nasser did!) and when it happens he doesn't show the pain. Which is right; show no fear. But that ball hurt. 4-6 weeks break. So who would you call? Loye? Butcher? Ackerman? Knight? Put the phone down. I've already called Ramps and he is ready! He is the only class player in England that could come anywhere near to KP. KP's 82 earns him a pat on the back: 8/10

5. Collingwood: 43 runs. He has great stats as a ODI player but looks like a fish out of water against the Aussies. He was scrappy today. Skin of teeth innings again. Should bat at 7. Should learn how to play his own game: 5/10

6. Flintoff: 47 Not Out. Looked alright today. Slow starter...needs about 5 overs to get his eye in but once he does he is great. I think he is finding it hard to live in KP's shadow (got a chance to shine now!) and should remember that he was always a better bat than a bowler. A few nice shots over Mid On today: 7/10

7. Nixon: 0 runs. Tosser. Well that was worth the airfare then. If you can call him up then call up Ramps too. Nixon is great at county level but he has no place here: 2/10

8. Dalrymple: 2 runs. 1 wicket. Not convinced about this tweaker yet. In the side as a Giles replacement but doesn't pull it off. Put him on the plane: 3/10

9. Lewis: 9 runs. Send him home. Might get a discount for 3 tickets. Not good enough: 1/10

10. Panesar: 0 Not Out. 1 wicket. Simply one of the best that we have. Will take more wickets than any other English spinner at all levels because he believes in himself. Pick of the bowlers today and a much better fielder than that idiot Lewis: 7/10

11. Anderson: DNB. Never really pulled it off has he? Another tosser. I wonder if we could get 4 tickets back to Blighty for the price of 3? Send him home and call up Stuart Broad...at least he has some guts and determination about him. Anderson - it's over, let go, go home. Poor: 2/10

So that concludes today's post mortem. Tune in next week for another typical England day at the wicket.